About three months ago, I moved back to New York and started my third semester at AMDA. My boyfriend, Chris, came with my mother and I to help me get settled. One morning during his trip the two of us went to Joe Coffee and the Muffins Place. Chris got an iced coffee with cream, honey, and sugar, and I got an iced mocha. As we were making our way back to the Empire Hotel, we decided to have a seat in Dante Park. While we were there, I shared with him a fun new idea I had for my blog: I wanted to start ‘interviewing’ people over a cup of coffee. I believe that every person we encounter in our life serves a purpose, and has an amazing story to tell, so why shouldn’t I tell it? I decided right then and there to have Christopher be the first person I’d interview. Here’s the conversation we had about the ups and downs of our particularly unique relationship.

So, to kick things off, how do you feel about being here in New York? 

I think it’s a cool place to visit. I don’t see myself actually living in a place like this, though. I mean I think the idea of it would be cool, then you think about the logistics of everything, just how expensive it is here for a very crumby living space, I don’t like that… I would live here if I had Spider-Man powers, because New York City is obviously the optimal place to have them. Can’t really have Spider-Man powers and use them to the fullest in Grand View. I’m sure you could swing on trees, but it wouldn’t be as efficient.

We have been together for three years now in spite of long distance. What do you accredit that the most to? 

Because I’m awesome. No… but that is a big part of it… I’m kidding. [laughs] I don’t really have a straight answer, ‘cause I don’t really think there is one. I mean, we’re a solid pair, and that pretty much says it all. And because we know long distance is a temporary situation. Even though it’s a long situation, it’s temporary, there is an end. I’m willing to wait, you’re willing to wait, so we’ll wait!

When life is getting stressful and you miss me, what’s your coping mechanism? 

Well I usually berate you over text until you answer me. Or if I have time I watch something on Netflix that I kind of correlate to us. Like New Girl, I started watching it ‘cause you showed me that show, and obviously we’re Nick and Jess… and that helps because we both look like them, too. So that, or whatever show we would watch as we fall asleep, like there was a time where Parks and Rec would be a thing, or The Office sometimes. There would be times where we watched episodes of these shows while one of us was visiting each other, and then I would just pick up where we left off. Made me feel a little closer to ya. 

It’s starting to dawn on me throughout this conversation that TV is our big thing.  

Oh yeah, it’s ‘cause anytime we visit we don’t really have much drive to do anything extravagant. We just wanna be in each other’s company, so we really don’t have any preference as to what that is… we wind up watching TV until we find something to do. We don’t really have a thing yet because we just really like to watch TV and talk. 

When it comes to our relationship, do you ever go to anyone for advice? 

I mean, I don’t really seek advice from anybody because nobodies been in our shoes before. I guess my parent’s kind of have, ‘cause my dad was in the Navy for the beginning part of their relationship. When they were apart, my mom would be at home with Spencer, and eventually Shelby, and when my dad was gone, he was far under the ocean in a submarine. The only communication they had was the occasional letter. Or when my mom was pregnant with Shelby and they were stationed in Hawaii, my mom had a phone that she could call my dad on in case she went into labor. I remember him saying she abused that a couple times, even though it’s only for emergencies, like, she was only supposed to use that if the baby is coming. I think he said that she would use it to call him and ask what he wanted for dinner that night when he was coming back… They obviously had it tougher, but we’re in a different day and age so it’s not really the same. I think that’s the other reason why we’ve lasted so long too, we have six different ways we can get in touch… Anyway, back to the question: do I talk about us? Yes, but not really to seek advice. 

What do you like to talk about?

Mainly just talk about us [as a couple]. I don’t start off like “Hey did you know that I have a girlfriend? And she’s amazing, and she’s great?” No. I let them bring it up, so I can throw it in their face that I have an awesome girlfriend. [Editor’s note: Awh.] For instance, during a job interview the woman interviewing me asked me about my availability coming up, and I told her “Yeah, this week I’m gonna be out of town, I’m gonna be moving my girlfriend into college, she goes to school in New York.” And every time I say that [to anyone] their eyes get big and they’re like “Oh! Wow! Okay!”,  and then a lot of time it’s followed by “Then how did you guys meet?”  Then I tell them all about the summer play’s and how you come up to Cable to visit family, and they can never believe that you normally live four hours away in Minnesota.

Another one that I think of is when I was on my Europe trip, and I was in Madrid. Me and Tommy were hanging out with a couple of girls who were staying in the hostel. We all went out to eat, then we were hanging out in the lobby area. I forgot how we got on the topic of relationships… but one of the girls was saying “long distance never works, my boyfriend lives 40 minutes away and it’s rough.” Tommy just gave me a little look and he says, “Well you know, he’s in a long distance relationship. Chris you wanna tell them about that?”. I cracked my knuckles, like, “Well, you see…”, and when I told them our whole story they couldn’t believe it. Bottom line, what I tell people is that it’s hard, but when you’re with the right person, it’s worth it. 

What are some of your favorite dates that we’ve ever been on?

It’s usually the most recent ones because I have a terrible memory. Either the first few, or the most recent ones. There was the first time we went out… I can’t remember the order of things we did. We didn’t do like, anything, but we did a couple things. I picked you up and we were like “Okay what should we do? Cause it’s 9 o’clock, and we live in the middle of nowhere.” So, I drove to Hayward and nothing was going on, everything was closed. We drove around there a little bit, I remember I stopped at a vending machine and got a soda. I didn’t know what to do so I just drove to Perry Lake and we stargazed for a little while. Is that how it went? We just drove around Hayward for a little bit and then went to Perry Lake? 

As first dates go, that was pretty bad!

That was really bad!  

I’m surprised we made it to a second one… just kidding. I really liked you, so I even didn’t care. 

To be fair you had to do some family stuff that day, too… I remember we were hanging at Sidney’s house, all of us stayed up super, crazy late. The next day you asked me “So, what do you want to do today?” 

Originally when you asked me out, you said “If you come up here again in the fall when the leaves have changed, I want to take you to a bridge in Grand View, it’s really pretty!” Then when I finally got up north and we decided to go out, I had to go to dinner with family that night. By the time we went on our date it was already dark out. 

Oh yeah! I remember I fell asleep at home because I was so tired, we’d stayed up all night [the night before]. Then we were at the Brick House in the morning, talked about going out that day, and then I drove home. I fell asleep, woke up to a message from you saying you were ready, and then I was like “f*ck!”. I jumped out of bed, took a quick shower, got lost trying to get to your cabin… We went to Hayward, Perry Lake, back to your cabin, watched TV and scrolled Facebook? 

Yeah you were showing me your memories from one act and things like that. I really liked that, it helped me get to know you better. I guess our first date wasn’t as bad as we think. 

Yeah, it was really nice. Then it got to be three in the morning, and I was like “Oh I should probably go home now.” And that was that… there was also the time we went to go see Star Wars, that was nice. That’s the one thing I realized, is our relationship is the same length as the rebirth of Star Wars franchise, and I dig that. There was also that time where we stayed at the Empire Hotel, we got scones and coffees, we sat down, and you started interviewing me for your blog. That was nice.

After having listened to this conversation a million times, I’ve come to appreciate the relationship Christopher and I have even more. To think that we got our start with a rather slow-going first date, kept things going despite living 175 miles apart, and then went to living 1,255 miles apart, is almost unimaginable. I’m so grateful to have spent the last three years with somebody who has encouraged me to follow my dreams every step of the way, no matter what it meant for the two of us. I’m also grateful that despite how much time we spend apart, when we’re together we’ve always managed to relax and focus on what matters most: simply enjoying each other’s company (whether that’s by staying in and watching a movie, or wandering around the streets of New York.) No matter what lies ahead, I’m pretty sure that the two of us can take it. 

-Ken